Dumbledore's Survey
by dragonweaver
Summary: The old man dumbledore needs a distraction for his craving for candy so he sends quizzes off to many people and reads them.
1. Intro: Dumbledore

_disclaimer: i do not own anything jk rowling does...although sharing is caring _

* * *

Dumbledore the headmaster of Hogwarts was addicted to candy. Anything like blood pops, chocolate frogs, gumi bear, M&Ms, and of course his precious lemon drops. His daily diet of his so called drug consists of at least ten lemon drops, five chocolate frogs and three gumi bears a meal - which is the minimum amount. 

Most people describe Dumbledore a kind grandfather type person with a smile on his face and always a twinkle in his eye. Just to say, the twinkle does that mean happiness or even some reflection off his glasses. It meant craving. Craving for candy of course - he could never ever get enough of them.

November is a very dangerous month to go near this candy addicted wizard.

Before Halloween - a day before November - his eyes will be strangely blinding as if someone had dabbed too much glitter in his eyes. He could practically smell the sweet odor of chocolate and see the bags and bags of candy from little kid's swinging trick-or-treat bags. On October the 31st he would go around dressed like Flich or Snape - what useful people- and confisticate bags and bags of delicious candy. All through the month of November, he would lock himself in his office and practically inhale the blood pops, chocolate frogs, gumi bear, acid pops etc. – all 'confisticated' from kids.

At the end of the month of November he would always feel the craving emerging again – and that's when he goes crazy, hyper and a bit mental. So during the end of November he will always find a way to amuse himself – except for this year. He had run out of ideas. He had already did a costume contest, a pie eating contest, a ballet performance, a candy skit, a moon watching club, a jump rope contest, and even a 'donate candy for the needy' club - which you should know, only went to one of 'needy' people.

So on November the 21st, Dumbledore sat on the ground of his office which a slight twinkle in his eyes and thought of his current situations of not having anything to distract him from his gurgling stomach.

Glancing at a few words on the back of a wrapper that said: Survey to win 100 dollars! He suddenly got an idea. Taking out a piece of paper he scrawled some words on it and made many copies of his. Rubbing his hands he threw back his head and laughed a laugh that would have made Voldemort proud.

* * *

_A/N: This ch. is an intro – sorry if it's a bit boring but just wanted to write why Dumbledore is doing all this…Review Please_


	2. Ch1: Harry J Potter

disclaimer: anything that's not mine is not mine and that goes for all other chapters

* * *

_Unrapping a candy wrapper with his teeth, Dumbledore sat up delighted as an envelop appeared on his desk. Wiping his hands on his also sticky robes he tore it open and read the first survey that had returned_

**Name:** Harry James Potter aka the Boy who lived aka Scarhead aka Golden Boy aka Potter aka CAN I STOP NOW?

**Location:** In my stupid room

**Age: **a thousand and on- okay fine sixteen - but 1001 sounds very mature and gansterish

**What You Were Doing:** er...dreaming about.. I am Soooo not going to write what I was - Grr...Darn You made me snap my best dragon shaped pen that er ah... voldemortgaveme

**Mood:** Angsty

**Favorite Color:** Pink

**Dating:** What the hell, I do not want to answer! V- why is my pen moving by itself -O...okay fine I write it myself: Voldemort. There are you happy now

**Favorite Saying: **Yo! Peace Out... okay okay just kidding ...jeez whoever makes this survey should stop breaking my pens.. favorite saying: mwhahaha ...I learned that from Voldie

**Addiction: **spiffy canes ... I'm so jealous of the one that Lucius Malfoy has

**Fear:** Collin Creevy - he scares me...seriously

**What You Never Told: **that doesn't make sense, if I wrote it down I'll be telling! I can- okay fine stupid moving pen: I er...love's voldemort bunny slippers - Don't Tell Anyone (who ever you are) or he's not going to steal lucius's spiffy cane for me

**Hate: **Lucius I. Want. His. Spiffy. Cane.

**Favorite Word: **SPIFFY! and Gansterish

**Favorite Song: **I Pawn You by H.J.P.

**Favorite Holiday: **Easter!  
**Why:** Easter Egg Hunt ... duh the running around with little pink buckets

**Color of your tights**: I do not have tights.. P- okay jeez stop that pen, okay fine fine it's pink with hello kitty on it...but i charmed it invisible when I left hogwarts in june

**Who You Love: **Myself...and I like Vodie too

**Who You Hate: **Myself - look at the mood - and Lucius: THAT SPIFFY CANE HOGGER!

**What you did secretly**: I sold myself to a prince in egypt...okay stop wiggling - fine I went to k-mart and bought another pair of tights that was purple and it has a person that looks like lucius in a garbage can... MWHAHAHA

* * *

Review Please! Up Next: Lucius Malfoy


	3. Ch2: Lucius ABCDEFGHIJK Malfoy

disclaimer: anything that I didn't make up belongs to someone else

* * *

_Dumbledore giggled at the survey that his Boy-Who-Lived had filled out. He took out a piece of parchment labeled: Christmas Gift and beside the words Harry J. Potter, he wrote: buy a spiffy cane that is more spiffer than Malfoy's _

_And speaking of the ferret's dad, an envelop with the Malfoy crest appeared... _

**Name:** Lucius Andre Berne Clovis Demi Elie Foy Gilles Herve Jean Malfoy - My parents must have been high or drunk when they named me..

**Location:** In my one million galle- okay okay it was only 999 galleons for my italian bed...jeez don't be picky

**Age: **18...what the hell you just broke my 700 japan dollar pen! I'm 41 but my ID only says 18 because otherwise I'll be too old

**What You Were Doing:** Sleeping DUH what else will you be doing in a bed- DON'T THINK THAT WAY!! I KNOW YOU ARE!!

**Mood:** Annoyed by this stupid survey

**Favorite Color:** Pink is the new man color for me

**Dating: **Er...I'm married so... DON'T YOU DARE SNAP MY PEN THAT I BOUGHT FOR 1000 DOLLARS IN MONOPOLY! okay fine I'm dating this girl that I met a few weeks ago at um...a place you do not want to know about

**Favorite Saying: **You Loser! - 'cause Malfoys always win

**Addiction: **my spiffy cane - DUH and my beautiful precious sleek cool hot hair

**Fear:** Losing a monopoly game against the Dark Lord

**What You Never Told: **not telling...Nooooooo!!! you broke my highlighter too! To get it over with: I never told Cissy that I was dating...happy now?

**Hate:** Harry Potter - he has been giving me the Eye for days now...don't know why  
And Draco. Draco is So. So. So. Annoying. He goes 'I'm going to tell father...' in his awful voice and then spend hours telling me about what he ate for breakfast - Darn Cissy for making me swear not to crucio Draco last time I was drunk

**Favorite Word: **Malfoy...everyone likes that word. You can say it in any accent too. My favorite is with a Chinese one

**Favorite Song: **Me by L.A.B.C.D.E.F.G.H.I.J.K.M.

**Favorite Holiday: **Father's Day  
**Why:** Cause Draco and Cissy _actually_ do what I tell them to that day...for other days they just become annoying idiots

**Color of your tights**: I don't wear tigh- okay fine fine I wear pantyhose but that is TOTALLY DIFFERENT ...and it's purple by the way

**Who You Love: **Me and My Hair and My Cane

**Who You Hate: **Isn't that the same thing as the Hate question up there- STOP BREAKING MY PENCIL (i specially ordered it from the internet!) just look above to the Hate question to see the answer

**What you did secretly**: Sell Draco to Harry Potter ...Potter seemed happy for some reason but oh well, he's going to pick Draco up next week

* * *

_Review Please!_ Up Next: Sirius Black  
**Reviewers can also request for who they want to be next **o.O RaVeNcLaW.bUbBlEs o.O - thank you so much for reviewing! 


	4. Ch3: Sirius O Black

disclaimer: i do not steal from others otherwise I'll be bad :(

* * *

**Name:** Sirius Orion Black 

**Location: **Behind the Veil duh duh duh ... how did you even get this through anyway?!?

**Age: **not sure how much time has passed so let's say...15 :)

**What You Were Doing: **NOTHING...it's soooo boring here - no one fun except some annoying wailing spirits AND there are no girls to date :(

**Mood: **Bored and bored and bored

**Favorite Color: **right now ANY COLOR will be nice... it's all black hear - very boring and angsty and emo :(

**Dating: **well...apparently NOT (look at the 'What You Were Doing question.)

**Favorite Saying: **Be A MAN!!

**Addiction: **smiley faces :) and pranking...maybe because due to lack of pranking I am becoming angsty and emo back behind this stupid veil

**Fear: **being transfigured into a girl - Emily did that to me once in 6th year HORRIBLE i tell you HORRIBLE...you loose your man essence :(

**What You Never Told: **I am an evil dark lord in disguise...okay okay just kidding - no need to break my pen...although I don't know what's it made of... I never told on _myself_...MWHAHAHA - Beat THAT stupid pen breaking spell! F.Y.I. i never joined the Death Munchers is because voldie has bad fashion sense... I mean just LOOK at those stupid robes

**Hate: **SNAPE ...well duh  
and voldie cause 1) he has bad fashion sense 2) he's ugly 3) he has a dumb name 4) i just hate him

**Favorite Word: **F.Y.I... is that one word?

**Favorite Song: **Barbie Girl

**Favorite Holiday: **Pranking day (haha everyday ...well except the time I was a) in prison b) on the run c) behind the stupid veil )  
**Why: **stupid question ...

**Color of your tights**: EXCUSE ME!! I'm trapped behind a veil and you're asking what color tights I'm wearing?!? F.Y.I. I'm not wearing any

**Who You Love: **myself and james and harry and remus

**Who You Hate: **peter...and _wait a sec_ isnt this the same question as Hate?

**What you did secretly**: Er...I kissed my elbow after reading stupid muggle book that said if you could kiss your elbow, you'll become a fairy ---- you know, just experimenting

* * *

_Review Please!_ Up Next: Ginny Weasley  
**Reviewers can also request for who they want to be next **

**Thanks for Reviewing!  
**o.O RaVeNcLaW.bUbBlEs o.O - here's your request XD  
malfoylvr4eva - your request is up next :)  
Prince of Tennis' Shaman


	5. Ch4: Ginerva M Weasley

disclaimer: anything that's not mine is not mine - simple as that

* * *

_chuckling at Sirius's survey Dumbledore dimly wondered if he should go rescue him later..._

**Name:** Ginerva Molly Weasley aka Ginny

**Location: **Er...WHY DID YOU JUST BREAK D- Ah...I meant _my _pen.._okay okay FINE_ I'm at the Malfoy Manor

**Age: **15

**What You Were Doing:** No way I'm answering- _okay STOP THAT_ fine I was sleeping with my...boyfriend

**Mood: **pissed off and proud of it

**Favorite Color: **Orange... EVERYONE likes orange ...I mean the fruit orange is called orange and the outside is ORANGE and the inside is ORANGE too!! isn't that cool!

**Dating: **Er... a guy _STOP DOING THAT! _okay fine Harry Potter and Draco...YES YOU READ CORRECT -two people but you are not going to tell (whoever you are) or my mood will change from pissed off to VERY EXTREMLY pissed off

**Favorite Saying: **Pissed off...i gives me a warm tingling feeling - don't know why

**Addiction: **Oranges... DUH

**Fear: **well, people finding out I'm dating too people I guess and geese - they are serious SCARY

**What You Never Told: **I'm an idiot for doing this survey..yes that's right BEAT THAT YOU STUPID MORON WHO MAKES PEOPLE DO DUMB SURVEYS!

**Hate: **RON - he is like the most annoying prat in the whole wide stupid merlin's pants universe

**Favorite Word: **Oranges DUH and I like the word duh ...too

**Favorite Song: **Happy Birthday - isn't that a cool song?

**Favorite Holiday: **Valentines Day  
**Why: **I get lots of things from my both boyfriends (see isn't too people better? - more presents!)

**Color of your tights: **tights?!!? Why is his question in here anyone...MORON!...okay i'm not wearing tights...only stockings...and it's Ah...see through color

**Who You Love: **capital letters AREN'T THEY COOL?

**Who You Hate: **RON DUH!

**What you did secretly**: date 2 people at once - DUH!

* * *

_Review Please!_ Up Next: Ron Weasley  
**Reviewers can request the next person!**

_Thanks for Reviewing!_  
Prince of Tennis' Shaman - your request is up next :)


End file.
